Lee Pylant Dot Com

As a sixty two year old father of a beautiful young woman who turned twenty three today, what do I want to tell her? Will anything I have to share with her be relevant in her world? Are the fears I have for her future even in context to the challenges she faces today? Should a twenty three year old woman consider perspective offered from someone as old as me? Even if she is my daughter?

With hands poised over my keyboard, desirous to send a meaningful message to my beloved daughter, these are the questions I ask myself.

As I am prone to do … I will speak my mind to this perfectly capable, and apparently happy, adult woman, who is also my daughter …

My advice to you Squid on your 23rd birthday:

• “DO NOT look a gift horse in the mouth.” While the sentiment may seem “light”, when it is consider in perspective of God’s gift of life, it is perhaps the most un-light sentiment of all. Give daily Thanks to Him that gave you your very life. The Life given is yours and it is incumbent on you to live it well, with vigor, and to its fullest.
• Listen to all advice, but do not blame failures on it. Own each and every decision you make, for ultimately they are yours alone. In that ownership you will find true satisfaction, also known as happiness.
• Pay attention to musings from the elderly. They have been there, done that, and know the irrelevancies of most of life’s dramas. What seems so powerful in the moment will often seem trivial in retrospect. Take better care of your teeth and take more time to love.
• Show up. I don’t care for Woody Allen’s public persona, but hey! … even a bling hog finds an acorn every once in a while, and he rightly said, “Eighty percent of success is just showing up”. He was right. Beat everyone to work. Stick around when someone is in need.
• Listen first. If someone else does not say what needs to be said, humbly offer it. You will miss learning opportunities by beating others to what seems obvious to you. Humility is a source of happiness.
• Take a second to take a second look in the mirror. See what is there that no one else may see. No kidding around here … be nice. None will likely judge you more harshly, or unfairly, than the person in that mirror. When all turn their backs, remember your moments in front of the mirror and remember to love. If there is no love in the mirror, you may not, indeed cannot, truly love another. That’s a fact.
• Be patient. If not thwarted by urgency, in time all your desires will be met. Your desires are a reflection of what you might offer to others. Love freely, but be miserly when it comes to commitment. One sided commitment is folly. Never give your devotion to another freely. MAKE THEM TAKE IT!!!! Those who seek to love you must earn your devotion and must not be rewarded for spirited initiations. It’s about the long haul. In marriage, these are the secrets to success.
• Be kind. Acknowledge the person who helped you rise from a prat fall. Be that friend both “indeed” and “in deed”. (A friend in need is a friend indeed.)
• Keep your head high. You are Allison Taylor Pylant by God! You are unique in this world and possess the power and potential inherent in life as provided to all by God Himself. He makes neither trash nor mistakes. You are neither and both indeed and in deed a treasure and a success. Know it. Own it.
• When in doubt, reach out. Perspective is everything when it comes to evaluation. You may mistake a carnival mirror for the real thing and find yourself in doubt. Ask a friend to have a look and open your mind to what they have to say. Never forget, from this day forward, and has always been, I am your friend.
• Lean on me. Excepting your mother, no one will love you with the spirit and passion as do I, your father. As to your mother, I give my life over to your care taking. We must lean on each other.
• Get your own place. You are, and always will be, welcome in our home. You may come at any time and stay as long as you care to. You will not know true happiness outside of self-dependence and personal independence. Riding a bike may have been fun whilst I pushed, but you experienced true independence and exhilarating exuberance when I let go. So may your continued life experience be.
• While this should be obvious to all right minded folks, I’ll spell it out here … always keep a dog, forgo cats. When no one seems to love you, go home and you will find abundant and boisterous love.
• When lost, look back. From my perspective, you are on track and may look back for assurance you are still headed in the right direction. If ever you look back and do not recognize where you have been and are uncertain of where you are going, I’m always here for further perspective, and advice of course! 🙂
• Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow!

Gosh, I do go on at times! I might go on even more except the woods and the “turdy point buck” are calling.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Love

Dad

You know, I never really gave thought to what “taking its toll” actually means. I simply “knew” the intent of this saying and kept pace with what was being said when it was used. I’ve , even used it myself at times. Today, I own this phrase. Here is my version of it … “You gotta pay for livin’ cuz’ life comes with costs.”

Deep in my heart resides a life pain, whose source is multi-faceted. There are sources tied to my age and its myriad downsides, my struggles and disappointments in relationships with those whom I love, and there is an acute pain associated with my mother, and by extension, my father.

Last night I slept only in spurts due to, what my loving wife assured me was stress. Up my spine and across my shoulders was a cramp-like spasm. I was neither stiff nor sore from exercise but this is kind of how it felt. Over the last some months, if not last few years, I routinely find myself suffering profound sadness and grief. Having learned many years ago to identify my emotions, denial is often beyond me and I must simply embrace my feelings and “deal”, so to speak.

In my estimation denial gets a “bad rap”. This life mechanic sustained me through some rough years when I was thirty something and trying to … kill my emotional being. By outward appearances, it was reasonable that some thought I might be trying to kill my physical being! Life had thrown so much at me I had actually entertained, albeit in an abstract way, the idea of throwing in the towel. In subsequent years education gained through the experience of working with people not unlike myself taught me that I was not alone. What saved us? Denial. Pure and simple. Denial. Oh dear Scarlett … “Well fiddle-dee! I’ll worry about that tomorrow.” Anyone of us might have said, “Pass me that bottle/wine/joint/needle/body/chip …” I cry a bit when I hear “Tonight the bottle let me down”. I cry at the evidence of someone who shared my plight and my manner of “dealing”. Denial will save your ass, and your life, at critical times.

So, life is having its way with me today. Metaphorically raping my soul, it seems. My heart breaks for my mother and grieves the loss of my father. This mix of emotions represents the “circle of life” for me. This may be God getting me ready for my own departure. Today I have an inkling for how old folks can so cavalierly mention their preparedness for death. Indeed I have witnessed their invitation to death. Universally they do this not in a morbid way, but rather as though the end, death, will be a welcomed relief from life. At such a tender age, relatively speaking, how is it that I already “sense” the nature of their plight? “I am too dang young to feel this damn old!”

So – I am in denial today but will lean on this, from Augustus McCrae … “It’s ain’t dying I’m talking about, it’s living.”. Or, how about this one from Bob, “He not busy being born is busy dying.”? Think I’ll be about getting reborn, in my own manner. YEEHAW! I was reborn the day I jumped form the high dive. I was reborn the day I asked Bo if I could come by her mama’s house. I was reborn February 1, 1988 at a noon meeting at KISS. I was reborn the day I asked my lovely Katherine to be my wife. (She said yes!!!!!!) I was reborn the day my loving daughter Allison Taylor was born. I am veritably reincarnate!

This bit of writing is dedicated to my sponsor, James H. Aye God, but he is a savior, of sorts. He helped me save me! In our time I was reborn into the man I am today. I showed him – I helped him get re-borned right back! Like babes in the woods, we have made our way home. Love ‘ya like a brother James!

Love

Wint